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Here ya go. Oh yeah, sorry about how the video flashes occasionally, I tried my best but I just couldn’t fix it. Deal with it.
Lyrics:
New Job/Pirate Restaurant Commercial:
They say a man should always dress
For the job he wants, so
Why’m I dressed up like a pirate
In this restaurant?
It’s all because some hacker
Stole my identity
Now I’m in here every evening
Serving chowder and iced tea
Shoulda gone to:
Free credit report dot com
Yee-haa!
I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Dream Girl:
Well I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We’re living in the basement at her mom and dad’s.
No we can’t get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on an old credit card
If we’d gone to free credit report dot com
I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
New Car:
Well I was shopping for a new car, which one’s me
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn’t know my credit was whack
‘Cause now I’m driving off the lot in a used sub-compact.
F-R-E-E, that spells free-
Credit report dot com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about going but was too lazy
Now instead of looking fly and rollin’ phat
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse’s getting
Laughed at
F-R-E-E, that spells free-
Credit report dot com, baby
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Bicycles:
Check it out, gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used subcompact for a two-wheeled ride
Now I’m rolling eco-friendly but I still look bad
When the bike store saw my credit they said this was all they had
F to the R to the E to the E to the
C to the R to the E D I T
RE to P O R T to the DOT to the COM
Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along, it’s easy
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Rock Star:
When you’re a rock star
You get to party hard
Champagne and caviar
Tricked-out exotic cars
It’s just how I thought it’d be
‘cept the party’s not for me
‘Cause some punk opened a credit card with my ID
Free What? (free credit!) report dot com (I said it!)
That’s the site I’m gonna hit when I go home
They know how credit works
They send email alerts
Now I’m finding out how bad reality hurts
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Renaissance Fair:
I was getting depressed ’cause of all the stress I was feeling at home
Had a poor credit score and the number would haunt me wherever I’d go
Thought I’d move to a place where my credit could stink and nobody would care
I just wish that somebody had told me that place was a Renaissance Fair!
Free Credit Report dot com!
Tell your friends, tell your dad, tell you mom!
Never mind, they’ve been singing our songs
Since we first showed up with our pirate hats on!
If you’re not into fake sword fights
Pointy slippers and green wool tights
Take a trip from a knight who knows
Free Credit Report dot com, let’s go!
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Roller Coaster:
Buckle up everybody cause were taking a ride
It can strain your relationships and hurt your pride
It’s the credit roller coaster and as you can see it kinda bites so sing the lyrics with me:
When your debt goes up, your score goes down,
When you pay a little off it goes the other way around
It’s just the same for everybody every boy and girl,
The credit roller coaster makes you wanna hurl.
So throw your hands in the air, and wave ‘em around
Like a wannabe frat boy trying to get down
Then bring em right back to where your laptops at.
Log on to freecreditreport.com, stat
Free credit score and report with enrollment in Triple Advantage
Cell Phone:
Wanted to get myself a new cell phone
So I could hear myself as a ringtone
Who knew the store would go
And check my credit score?
Now all they let me have is this dinosaur!
Hello hello hello, can anybody hear me?
I know I know I know, I should have gone to
FreeCreditReport.coooom!
That’s where I shoulda gone,
Could have got my knowledge on.
Free credit score and report with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Reno:
We were stuck in a basement apartment
Tiny rooms where the sun never blessed
So when we needed space for a family,
Set our sights on the wide, open, west.
Well I thought we’d see sierra vistas
And breathe air pure as new-fallen snow
But my poor credit score was a sinker (or stinker?),
Now we rent by the week in Reno.
Free credit score and report with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
I voted Obama I voted Obama but he didnt tell me that he was a clown. now instead of living in my 30 room mansion, I live under a bridge on the outskirts of town. my bussneiss is blown, they foreclosed my home. How was I persuaded to vote for this retard? If only Id voted for John a Sarah, Id be a homeowner with a dog and a yard….we’re Doomed! flipsrfun95
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EDIT 4: Uploaded “All 9 FreeCreditReport.Com Commercials.” So go watch it with the 3 new commercials added to the collection. Now.
EDIT 3: You know, you don’t have to remind me that there are new commercials out. In fact I uploaded them, so I think I would know. I’m waiting for all the new commercials to come out BEFORE I make another collaberation. So yeah. Shut up about the new commercials.
EDIT 2: Added the lyrics as annotations on the video. Now you don’t have to look in the description for the lyrics!!! Be careful though, the annotations jump around the video a lot so keep your eyes open!
EDIT: Oh my God!!! Fine!!! Here are the freakin lyrics! Now stop spamming me with the constant comments and messages to put the lyrics!!!
New Job/Pirate Restaurant Commercial:
They say a man should always dress
For the job he wants, so
Why’m I dressed up like a pirate
In this restaurant?
It’s all because some hacker
Stole my identity
Now I’m in here every evening
Serving chowder and iced tea
Shoulda gone to:
Free credit report dot com
Yee-haa!
I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don’t end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Dream Girl:
Well I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn’t tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We’re living in the basement at her mom and dad’s.
No we can’t get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on an old credit card
If we’d gone to free credit report dot com
I’d be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
New Car:
Well I was shopping for a new car, which one’s me
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn’t know my credit was whack
‘Cause now I’m driving off the lot in a used sub-compact.
F-R-E-E, that spells free-
Credit report dot com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about going but was too lazy
Now instead of looking fly and rollin’ phat
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse’s getting
Laughed at
F-R-E-E, that spells free-
Credit report dot com, baby
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Bicycles:
Check it out, gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used subcompact for a two-wheeled ride
Now I’m rolling eco-friendly but I still look bad
When the bike store saw my credit they said this was all they had
F to the R to the E to the E to the
C to the R to the E D I T
RE to P O R T to the DOT to the COM
Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along, it’s easy
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Rock Star:
When you’re a rock star
You get to party hard
Champagne and caviar
Tricked-out exotic cars
It’s just how I thought it’d be
‘cept the party’s not for me
‘Cause some punk opened a credit card with my ID
Free What? (free credit!) report dot com (I said it!)
That’s the site I’m gonna hit when I go home
They know how credit works
They send email alerts
Now I’m finding out how bad reality hurts
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.
Renaissance Fair:
I was getting depressed ’cause of all the stress I was feeling at home
Had a poor credit score and the number would haunt me wherever I’d go
Thought I’d move to a place where my credit could stink and nobody would care
I just wish that somebody had told me that place was a Renaissance Fair!
Free Credit Report dot com!
Tell your friends, tell your dad, tell you mom!
Never mind, they’ve been singing our songs
Since we first showed up with our pirate hats on!
If you’re not into fake sword fights
Pointy slippers and green wool tights
Take a trip from a knight who knows
Free Credit Report dot com, let’s go!
Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.